John Basedow Has Sunk to a New Low…If That’s Even Possible

25 03 2007

I know almost everyone has been up real late at night, surfing the channels for something decent to watch and stumbled across John Basedow’s “Fitness Made Simple” commercial. My friends and I would always laugh at this guy because his hair looks worse than a cancer patient on intensive chemo-therapy. He’s promoting his exercise plans and videos, but when you look at him, you think he’d starved himself for months, had surgery to install bicep and chest implants, got a spray on golden tan, and rubbed himself down in oil. He doesn’t look good. John Basedow looks like the most unhealthy body builder I’ve ever seen.

John Basedow

Last night, my friends and I were bored and watching TV, and once again a John Basedow commercial came on. We began laughing as he stood there talking and trying not to look like he was flexing. You always know he is flexing though. Who talks standing with their side facing the camera with their arm pressed against the side of their chest in order to make their arms look bigger? But this commercial was a little different. He advertised a fucking MySpace. Now, you can visit John on mySpace.com. Just like every other celebrity on the planet, Basedown has jumped on the MySpace bandwagon. I couldn’t resist so I had to go to Basedow’s MySpace Page. Apparently John thinks he needs a reality tv show, but unlike every other celebrity, no one wanted to give him one. You may be asking yourself why would John Basedow need a reality tv show? He doesn’t. He’s a fitness instructor that doesn’t look like he has the strength to walk on his own. Basedow took the liberty to film his reality show by himself, and post it on his MySpace page. I’ve only gotten through about 30 seconds of one episode before I realized it was completely retarded and didn’t deserve another 30 seconds of my life.

The sad thing is, John Basedow seems like he is a nice guy. He’s polite and appears genuine on camera but I really feel that the lack of vital nutrients required by the human body that John starved himself of has seriously altered the chemical balance in his brain.

John Basedow is the last person I would take exercise and fitness advice from and he is the last person that I’d want to watch on tv for more than 45 seconds.

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17 responses

26 03 2007
CajoleJuice

I’m fucking laughing in the library right now. I completely forgot about this, but when I saw the headline on the top of your blog I immediately had a flashback to the embarrassment to humanity that is his Myspace page.

26 03 2007
Frank

I wish they would put this ‘man’ in the octagon.

26 03 2007
h0pper

lol, yeah Basedow has issues.

14 04 2007
Basedow

28 09 2007
John

John Basedow looks like a lion that’s been on a vegetarian diet. I don’t know why anyone would want to look like that sickly bastard. Here a link to a funny comic about him…

http://www.strangerrandy.com/images/Fitness%20Made%20Simple.html

16 11 2007
dawnn

We have very similar views, did you see when the teenager screamed, “he’s so hot” LMAO. ah yeah

29 01 2008
The Hoss

he is such a champion

14 08 2014
U.N. Owen

A ‘champion?’

A ‘champion’ of WHAT, exactly?!?

19 01 2009
The Deconstruction

Dude! Great article! I found it because I have seen countless commercials for “Fitness Made Simple,” and each time I wonder, “Who the f**k is John Basedow!?” I decided to come online and do some research. I’ve never heard of this clown and he looks like he has “short guy syndrome.”

18 04 2013
VegasDude

Probably has a small Penis.. just sayin

4 06 2011
Burgdorf

Nothing worse than a gay guy trying to act as if he is straight. It’s always so funny to see one act as if he is straight, thinking that no one would ever know …

25 08 2011
ZOMGPUNKINS

Wow! What a meanness. He seems like a nice guy to me and I’m not a fitness fanatic. Anytime ANYONE puts their foot forward, there is going to be criticism, but John Basedow seems like a really nice guy — and while I don’t really subscribe to health/fitness stuff (coz it’s not my thing) — I give him props for caring so much about what interests him and interests others. This article — LOL — whatever. What a bunch of jerks.

23 03 2012
dre

Yeah now let’s see what the loser that wrote this whole essay that obviously has NO life looks like. I think that john basedows work outs are great and have helped me achieve a 6 pack. I highly doubt you have a 6 pack. If anything I guarantee you’re a lard ass. 🙂

23 05 2012
CUTTINGTHROUGHTHEMATRIX.COM

Would you like to share with you look like? Don’t criticize “art” unless you can make better on your own.

20 12 2012
brian

john basedow is very hot man . i wish he is my boyfriend forever sigh…grin…

14 08 2014
U.N. Owen

Since this was written…. a while ago (it’s now ’14), Mr. Basedow HAS sunken to EVEN LOWER depths.

First, I think you were quite … complimentary to him – if he was as you described his appearance then, it’s only got (MUCH) more plastic-looking – even his photos are SO Photoshopped, he IS UNreal.

I think Mr. B has ONLY ever had ONE ability. Something he DIDN’T learn through education.

I think Mr. Basedow’s ONLY ability is to market, promote HIMSELF – in whatever market, area this might be.

I don’t think their’s ANY substance to ANYTHING he’s pushing, be it ‘firtness’ or whatnot (and I definitely agree about him having MAJOR work done, i.e. implants, skin resurfacing, etc.

Even HIS Wikipedia (?!?!) page (!!!) is (currently) nothing more than a pr bio – for intended investors, etc.

The exclamations & question marks are there because being in ANY encylopædia ISN’T something ANYone is in.

The person should have ‘done something,’ and promoting yourself in infomercials, as well as self-financed ‘news’ programs, or – as you mentioned, ‘reality’ programs DOESNT count.

Without being … ‘TOO’ vicious, I’d say there’s a LOT more about Mr. Basedow, and how he ‘supplements’his income tha through the affirmentioned.

The only thing is, Basedow THINKS he’s a LOT more ‘famous’ (I DESPISE the word) than he is, and I think it fair to say that ‘fame’ is THE ONLY THING Mr. Basedow wants.

Nauseating, but, he’s such a minor ‘blip,’ that even after all the time since up originally posted this, there’s NOT ONE ‘reply.’

If – IF – Mr. Basedow ever read this (I’m positive he spends LOTS of time ‘Googling’ himself, so, he might’ve popped by here, but), it undoubtedly irked him to see NOTHING (t)here!

14 08 2014
U.N. Owen

Since this was written…. a while ago (it’s now ’14), Mr. Basedow HAS sunken to EVEN LOWER depths.

First, I think you were quite … complimentary to him – if he was as you described his appearance then, it’s only got (MUCH) more plastic-looking – even his photos are SO Photoshopped, he IS UNreal.

I think Mr. B has ONLY ever had ONE ability. Something he DIDN’T learn through education.

I think Mr. Basedow’s ONLY ability is to market, promote HIMSELF – in whatever market, area this might be.

I don’t think their’s ANY substance to ANYTHING he’s pushing, be it ‘firtness’ or whatnot (and I definitely agree about him having MAJOR work done, i.e. implants, skin resurfacing, etc.

Even HIS Wikipedia (?!?!) page (!!!) is (currently) nothing more than a pr bio – for intended investors, etc.

The exclamations & question marks are there because being in ANY encylopædia ISN’T something ANYone is in.

The person should have ‘done something,’ and promoting yourself in infomercials, as well as self-financed ‘news’ programs, or – as you mentioned, ‘reality’ programs DOESNT count.

Without being … ‘TOO’ vicious, I’d say there’s a LOT more about Mr. Basedow, and how he ‘supplements’his income tha through the affirmentioned.

The only thing is, Basedow THINKS he’s a LOT more ‘famous’ (I DESPISE the word) than he is, and I think it fair to say that ‘fame’ is THE ONLY THING Mr. Basedow wants.

Nauseating, but, he’s such a minor ‘blip,’ that even after all the time since up originally posted this, there’s NOT ONE ‘reply.’

If – IF – Mr. Basedow ever read this (I’m positive he spends LOTS of time ‘Googling’ himself, so, he might’ve popped by here, but), it undoubtedly irked him to see NOTHING (t)here!

(UPDATED) sorry, I didn’t see the (few) replies here.

I’m sure if Basedow was here & read this stuff (either people making fun of him, or blindly & idiotically ‘worshipping’ him.

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